Friday, July 17, 2009

Missing My Papa

Accidentally, I clicked a video of a friend posted in face book this morning. I tried to cancel it but it did not respond so I was left without choice but to view it. I saw a scene of a sexagenarian father and a middle aged son seated in a bench outside their house. They were in a garden surrounded with trees, flowers and green plants. The son was busy reading the newspaper while the father was like listening to nature. The latter heard a whistling sound of a bird prompting him to ask his son what was it. The son said it's a sparrow. The father asked many times the same question annoying and displeasing the son. The latter yelled at his father asking him what's wrong with him. The father paused in silence momentarily, then he stood up, left the place and went inside their house. When he came back, he brought with him something like a book which I realized later as his diary. He opened a portion of said diary and asked his son to read it loudly. When read by the son, it was accounted by the father that " he was once in the same place with a little boy. A sparrow went near them and the boy asked him many times what was it? He patiently answered the little boy that it was a sparrow and each time the same question was asked, he hugged him tightly letting him feel that he was pleased to answer the same question. The son suddenly came to a realization of the overflowing love of his father for him.

I envy the scene because the son had all his chance to let his father know and feel that he regretted being so insensitive and impatient on dealing with him. My dad was so good as he opted to ignore our being uncaring and unresponsive. I remember vividly, he was so happy to get a kiss or a hug from us if we receive an extra amount for our school daily allowance. When he was drunk, we all shunned away from him. It was too late when I realized he needed comfort and understanding. Papa left us without knowing how I (or we ) truly feel for him. Though considered closest to him, I still wasted so many opportunities to thank him, to tell him how proud I am of him and to let him know that he is indeed a very good person. With this revelation, I could have contributed a smile in papa's face when he left us.

My tears are now futile. The video I watched this morning is not only touching but heartbreaking. Oh Papa, if you can hear me, I hope you will listen to every word my heart speaks. It speaks of love and longing for you...

Papa, I will patiently share to all your grandchildren the legacy you left to us - your children. Only few witnessed your brilliance and integrity as you were a simple man with simple dreams for your family. Questions like"Who built the great walls of China?", "Who was the greatest leader of China?" and "Who was the assistant of Mao Tse Tong?" will be bestowed to your descendants. The nobility of your unique historical accounts will also cling to the walls of the patriarchal home that you built for your family.

Papa you deserve to be remembered. Thank you for touching my heart today as it reminded me of what I have missed all about you. I love you, Papa